Random Thoughts About Writing

Yes, I hardly wrote any fiction this past week. I played too much GTA 5 and real life is keeping me busy, big time. I will be reducing my GTA time so I can at least write on the weekends while my weekdays are chock full busy.

I dunno. I know I am a small time blogger and writer. I would like to think of “build it and they will come” but it is more like “I will build it even if no one comes”. I dunno. Really inefficient, but hey, I like my writing and write my characters. I guess I just like to plan for their success. That is why I have detailed credits for the freelancers I have worked with so far. I have engaged with multiple forms of media, which in of itself has been a cool experience. Writing…my story, is just something I really, really want to do. Even if only 1 or 10 million people read it. Of course, I would like for 100 million people to read it, but I know my odds too…

I guess writing is like some kind of control fantasy fulfillment. I was talking to my dad and a friend about the future today. I felt very uncertain and uneasy about my future. But both of them told me, no one knows the future. As writers we know our characters’ futures. Real life isn’t like that…quite scary huh?

I know the ending for my characters, more or less. I do not know my future, or my own ending. My brain is so focused and so sure of predicting the future, but how can it really know?

I must face my unknown future, and try to make it the best I can. Now THAT is a really exciting and thrilling story. Not as comforting as being the god of my fiction writing, but I guess I had better get used to it.

Failure happens to smart and successful people, right? We all know their ENDINGS or presents after the hardship. We know of the happy ending, for sure. But in the thick of tension, in the thick of a story’s low point, how do any of us REALLY know? Maybe that is the thrill of the story itself. We DON”T really know the ending of a movie when we watch one made by someone else. Quite thrilling. Quite scary, to me. The sheer unpredictability and uncertainty of life. Predictions aren’t truths; they are just estimations.

I still think about my characters everyday. It is quite late now, so soon I will go to bed.

Writing…means something to me. A shame it cannot make money…….yet.

In the meanwhile, I dream and think about my characters and my writing. Why? I just like doing it. Is it practical? Dunno. Probably not the most practical activity possible, but enjoyable in a very deep manner for me. Something more than the day to day.

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